you have time to read the newspaper and make the sudoku

In dutch there is a saying: Geduld is een schone zaak. Which translates literally to "patience is a clean case", and means patience is a virtue.

I find that in my ambition, which I prided myself in not too long ago, there lies a lot of naiveté and more importantly: haste. What’s the rush?

Ambition can be so exhausting, why does everything have to happen over night? I feel like there is such a rush to get everything right as quickly as possible. But then I read about a painter, Maria Lassnig, who only started to get recognition for her work at 81 years old.

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brooo i got time

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I am getting acquainted with the idea of not achieving and not getting the most out of everything. I have not yet looked her in the eye or shook her hand, but I've seen her passing by my window. She doesn’t seem so bad.

What if my life was mediocre and boring and slow?

What if nothing of major significance happened for the next ten years? ( i think this is impossible )

but what if?
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Not too long ago, I sat in a cafe, having a coffee in the morning. For the next few hours no concrete plans, just my never-ending to do list to chisel away at. On the other side of the window, countless people rushing by, on their way to start their day. I sat there, still, observing. The man next to me stands up, leaving a stack of newspapers unattended. I start glossing over the front page, I get excited to read the newspaper. A thought occurs to me: “I can’t wait to retire, because then I will be able to to read the entire newspaper. AND I can do the the sudoku. Because I’ll have all day.”

Immediately another thought rebuts the first: “Why do I have to wait for my retirement to do that? I could do that literally right now.”
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Can I??

just…

do that?

(YES!)

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Considering I’m graduating this summer, I’ve been thinking about what I want my life to look like. I’m discovering that yet another cliché is a cliché for a reason: It’s the small things in life. Slow mornings. Good people. Reading. Conversation. Nourishing food. A roof over your head. Love! It would be impossible to live a boring life. For nothing significant to happen? We find significance in the small things. It’s reassuring me that everything will be okay. Because even if I don’t become the next great whatever, if never get the recognition I think I need, there will always be paint, a breakfast to look forward to, and people I love.

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Today’s recommendation is a podcast: The Way Out Is In, zen and the art of living. It is co-hosted by Brother Phap Huu and Jo Confino. They talk about buddhism and life and stuff and they have calming voices. Each episode ends with a meditation.

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a last little nibble for thought:

"The ambitious man is the most frightened of men, because he is afraid to be what he is." - J Krishnamurti

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wishing you patience

Z

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