you're doing amazing sweetie

good day!

as we speak (or read and write and also probably not as you read cause you are not reading as i write… anyways) i am tying the last ends of my graduation project together, wowza! today i want to share with you an excerpt from my thesis (woohoo!)

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“having a dead mom always felt a bit like having some strange secret. i know you don’t know but i don’t know how to tell you. when is the right moment? a cloud loomed above me. it didn’t feel right for you not to know, and at the same time i simply couldn’t get the words out of my mouth. with this project, i’m happy my secret is out.

as i’ve worked on this project, speaking about my mom has become easier. it comes up in any conversation about my graduation project. the words ‘my mom passed away’ have almost lost their meaning. their heaviness. yes, my mom is dead. i have a dead mom. what does she do? well, not really anything because she is dead.

the way this project constantly opens up conversation around death with people is special. just now, a conversation brings up new questions: what is the difference between holding on to the past, being weighed down, slowed down and my practice of slowing down? maybe that is the difference right there, it is a conscious act of slowing down. i’m healing instead of holding on. moving forward instead of moving on. does the difference lie between being stuck in the past and bringing our loved ones into the future?”

my work will be on display during the big ol graduation exhibition of the Willem de Kooning Academy in Rotterdam the 3rd until the 6th of JULY. everyone is welcome (free entrance) and there is a lot to see. my project consists of a series of paintings, a collaged video diary and a publication. not sure how it will come together, but it will. i have a crowdfunding page if you have are wanting and able to help me out a little bit financially :)

​https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-fund-my-graduation-project​

the reminder to myself is: you're doing great! - this project is a documentation of where you are at now. of course there is more to say and there will be more to say and you will forget to say things and you will change your mind about what you have said. how you feel about your work changes, it doesn't have to be perfect or all-encompassing. you just have to finish it and share it. and then try again.
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recommendations this time:
>>a beautiful album recently released by WILLOW titled ‘empathogen’ - i've been listening to it on repeat :-)

>>this website for the city kids among you who need some more tree sounds in their life: www.tree.fm​

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with love and all that jazz

Z!

113 Cherry St #92768, Seattle, WA 98104-2205
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